Prince Chad: The Almost Boyfriend
I'm single. Well, duh you say. Or you might not since you don't know me. But trust me, I am. You can cut my leg and count the rings to see how long I've been single. To avoid the cutting, I'll tell you that it's been like 5 or 6 years since I was in a relationship. I've been focused on law school and passing the bar. I've had priorities, okay mom. And at 26, the pressure is on to get in a relationship and get serious.
Now that I've been out in practice and no longer in school, I've figured this is the best time to be dating and exploring the world. And by world, I mean the 25 mile radius on my Tinder profile.
I want a boyfriend. I want to get married some day. Have some kids. It's still in the cards, trust me. However, I'm not desperate to get hitched. Although, if TLC were interested in a new television show, I'd be down. That girl Sallie Mae comes a-knocking every month and I have to get her to go away. It would be a great show. Something new and innovative. A show where I am single and all these people are there just so that I can pick one to date and marry? Someone needs to get on that.
Me: how's it going?
Chad: good, you?
(five messages of meaningless discussion)
Chad: so, what are you looking for?
Me: I don't really have an agenda. I'm open to whatever. Chatting, sexting, friends, dates, hookups, long term.
Chad: cool
Chad: I'm looking for a boyfriend.
Me: cool.
Chad. So...
Me: um, so what?
Chad: do you want to be my boyfriend?
Me: ha, sorry, I don't know you. I don't jump into relationships like that.
Chad: okay... So tell me about you
(small back and forth about each other)
Chad: so, how are you?
Me: I'm good, just watching TV. You?
Chad: I'm sad.
Me: why? Is everything okay?
Chad: no, I told you about me and you won't say you want yo be my boyfriend.
Me: uh, dude, I'm sorry I just met you like 20 messages ago. I'm not getting into a relationship with you today.
Chad: fine
(Chad proceeds to block me)
Unlike Prince Hans, Chad didn't have a trust fund. He wasn't royalty. He didn't engage in an absurd plot to overthrow my sister and claim land for himself. Actually, I'm not sure about that last part. I should send my sister a text to see if she's alright. BRB.
No, Chad was special. He was the guy that was new to dating and wanted a boyfriend and long-term relationship, like yesterday. Which is fine and dandy for some folk, but when I date someone, I need to have some time invested. I want to date someone that's a friend (no, I don't want to date my friends, calm down). And, like I mentioned, Sallie Mae is an impatient lady. My student loans don't have time for Chad to come into my life while he's still a 20-something between jobs trying to find himself and a relationship. Because we know that that ends well...
The Journey continues!
Javi
*No, his name was not actually Chad, but this sounds like a very Chad thing to do. I also apologize if your name is Chad and you would not do this.
Now that I've been out in practice and no longer in school, I've figured this is the best time to be dating and exploring the world. And by world, I mean the 25 mile radius on my Tinder profile.
I want a boyfriend. I want to get married some day. Have some kids. It's still in the cards, trust me. However, I'm not desperate to get hitched. Although, if TLC were interested in a new television show, I'd be down. That girl Sallie Mae comes a-knocking every month and I have to get her to go away. It would be a great show. Something new and innovative. A show where I am single and all these people are there just so that I can pick one to date and marry? Someone needs to get on that.
Despite not being in a rush, guys don't seem to get it. Like dear old Chad*! Chad could have been great. He could have been an awesome guy. I wouldn't know. I bumped into Chad on <insert your favorite dating app here since the same 50 people are on all of them> and within a couple minutes Chad was on it. he didn't waste time. Unfortunately, Chad went from zero to Prince Hans real quick:
Me: hey!
Chad: hiMe: how's it going?
Chad: good, you?
(five messages of meaningless discussion)
Chad: so, what are you looking for?
Me: I don't really have an agenda. I'm open to whatever. Chatting, sexting, friends, dates, hookups, long term.
Chad: cool
Chad: I'm looking for a boyfriend.
Me: cool.
Chad. So...
Me: um, so what?
Chad: do you want to be my boyfriend?
Me: ha, sorry, I don't know you. I don't jump into relationships like that.
Chad: okay... So tell me about you
(small back and forth about each other)
Chad: so, how are you?
Me: I'm good, just watching TV. You?
Chad: I'm sad.
Me: why? Is everything okay?
Chad: no, I told you about me and you won't say you want yo be my boyfriend.
Me: uh, dude, I'm sorry I just met you like 20 messages ago. I'm not getting into a relationship with you today.
Chad: fine
(Chad proceeds to block me)
Unlike Prince Hans, Chad didn't have a trust fund. He wasn't royalty. He didn't engage in an absurd plot to overthrow my sister and claim land for himself. Actually, I'm not sure about that last part. I should send my sister a text to see if she's alright. BRB.
No, Chad was special. He was the guy that was new to dating and wanted a boyfriend and long-term relationship, like yesterday. Which is fine and dandy for some folk, but when I date someone, I need to have some time invested. I want to date someone that's a friend (no, I don't want to date my friends, calm down). And, like I mentioned, Sallie Mae is an impatient lady. My student loans don't have time for Chad to come into my life while he's still a 20-something between jobs trying to find himself and a relationship. Because we know that that ends well...
The Journey continues!
Javi
*No, his name was not actually Chad, but this sounds like a very Chad thing to do. I also apologize if your name is Chad and you would not do this.
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