Javi's Journey Through Dreadful Dating

Okay, so I left you all in suspense for a while....I should apologize, but that just means you guys will stick around for the conclusion of this tale. When we last got together , we were just meeting Chris and things were going great! I was smitten and he was a smooth goofball. However, I didn't know him at all. Sure, we chatted briefly and he tried to talk me up like he'd won the lottery just by running into me, but I really didn't know him. Hell, just reading the first post you guys would know as much about him as I knew. And here he was a few months later telling me that he was going to take a vacation to visit me. So as soon as he told me that he had a vacation planned, I halted everything. We were going way too fast. We'd only been talking for a brief time and there's no way a week or so of vacation was reasonable. And I told him so. There was just no way this was going to happen when we didn't know anything about each other. And I have t...

A large part of online dating is being prepared for the unexpected. Sometimes you'll find a perfect match and the subsequent conversation will be amazing, then there are times when the conversation is just awkward, and then there's the pop-up dick pic. Be careful with the last one, those are wild, unavoidable, and always from the one's you NEVER want it from.* I think a good chunk of the fun of online dating is the very fact of the above reality. You can't predict what the other person's first move is going to be. Now, I will state up from, for the most part, my greetings are pretty tame. I might call someone a stud to be saucy, but that's about it. Some might find that boring, but you know what Janet and Julio, I like being boring at the beginning. I think it leaves for a wider selection of conversation topics. Besides, I usually shoot off the first greeting, so I never really know what mood I'm in. Am I chill? Anxious? Ready to pounce? In the mood?...

Last winter I branched out from the normal guys I go for. Now, I won't say I have a particular type, BUT, I probably do. I usually go for guys close to my age, tall, who are driven. No, you don't need a four-year degree and letters after your name, but you do need to have a plan and direction. Seriously, Sallie Mae doesn't have time for me dicking around. This time, I decided I would go for some older guys. I have experience with some guys way beyond my years, but I don't make it a common thing. Not to say they don't come after me, but unless you're old, hot, and have money, I probably won't settle down. So I set up a date with a guy in his early 40s and mentally prepared myself for the coffee we were going to get. Now, I need to preface this date with some backstory that resulted in my naivety. I spent the first 21 years of my life in California and everyone in the suburbs spoke the same. i didn't think I spoke with an accent at any point in...

Dating is a duel. Dating is a sport. Dating is a journey. It can be dangerous out there. Fear not! I have ventured out there a bit and learned quite a lot. Not enough to profit, but enough to know that some people just want to spend their whole life going on dates and seeing how many points, I mean people, they can rack up. I've also learned that others see dating as the unfortunate middle step before marriage and ever lasting companionship and either dread it or try to cut it short: Now before you go out into the dating world, or if you're already in it and need some reevaluating, below are the dating Commandments. If you had time to remember Dua Lipa's New Rules, you'll have time to get these to memory. Commandment #1: Know Who You Are Above all else, you need to know who you are. Before you start looking for Mr. or Ms. Right or Right-Now, you need to know who you are as a person. But, Javi, why does that matter? I just want to find someone to lov...

After the bus incident, I got more comfortable with interactions with guys. Of course, I didn't tell anyone. But through my free use of the internet I did find my outlets. And no, I'm not talking about porn, let's keep this PG, please. I was now a HS Senior and things had changed. I was no longer the wall flower. I was more outspoken and braver. I was part of my school's step team. I had a small group of friends that I could trust and share secrets. Most importantly, I was beginning to build the confidence I have now. Sure, I wasn't as fierce and unapologetic then as I am now, but you have to start somewhere. This confidence showed a lot in how I interacted with guys. I was flirting and having fun. Of course, given that this was all around 2008, it was all done online. Thank you, the GYC (there are a few stories on that that I might share later on, including the first guy I ever had fall in love with me). I was used to the attention. In fact, sometimes I c...