Casper: The Catfishing Ghost Part 3

One of my favorite shows is Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Seriously, if you haven't watched it, go watch it after reading this. I'd normally say go watch it all before finishing this, but it's too good for me to compete against. Can't have you guys being disappointed with my stuff after. Seriously, it's that good. What I got from Crazy Ex was one of my favorite songs that I really can connect with. No, not that one. This one:

And it's absolutely true. Life does not make narrative sense. Everything just seems so random and barely put together. And in online dating it makes even less sense. Because here we were the weekend Chris was supposed to be here and no messages from him. Like the entire Friday he was supposed to fly out, I was on pins and needles. When was he gonna message me? Was he gonna call? Was I supposed to pick him up from the airport? Would he randomly show up at my apartment even though he didn't know where I lived but Seattle doesn't have THAT many hispanic people so it could be possible that he found my location by stalking me and would be waiting at my apartment when I got home? Was I going crazy? Probably.

Well Friday came and went and I got nothing. I was confused. Maybe he lied about it all? Maybe he just didn't want to hang? I was a mess for a second. I texted my friends what I should do. I honestly didn't want to meet up with him. I thought this whole situation was weird. I didn't really like him and I just felt uncomfortable and I very much wanted to ghost him if he reached out to me. And yet, I also felt terrible for wanting to ghost him. Why? Because if he was truly sincere in everything he said, how awful of a person would I be if I completely ghosted someone who flew from GA to WA to see the one person he knew in the city and that person completely ignored him? I truly would be the worst human being. I simply didn't know what to do.

On Saturday, I still haven't gotten a single message from him. I went out to dinner with a really good friend, Alex, and told him what had been going on and the conundrum I was in...along with providing amazing commentary on the couple next to us who were clearly having a very awkward one-sided first date. Which, I will say being buzzed and providing the feedback and pretending to figure out what they were discussing truly inspired me to do a whole podcast on the thing. Just picture it, me going out, looking to see if people are on a first date and just letting you all in on the juicy make believe date I had created based on body language and the bits and pieces of information I could overhear. Let me know if you'd be interested, because that would be so much fun! Anyway, after dinner Alex told me to just shoot Chris a message and ask him out to coffee or a happy hour. Nothing too committal and I wouldn't be trapped on a super awkward date. And if things went well, Alex then said I could plan something for later in the week and if it didn't go well, then blame not having time on being a busy attorney. He made a great point and suggestion. So, I decided on Sunday I would send a quick message and figure this all out.

(The following screenshots will be presented with minimal commentary)

Okay, let's talk about that last one? Like he would just come up to me and grab me? How creepy is that? Why would anyone think that that conduct would be acceptable? Like stranger danger. And so between Sunday and Monday we planned on going to my favorite taco spot, El Borracho. What could go wrong on a date full of tacos and margaritas? In between all of this, he was offering to pay for my haircut, buy my groceries, make me come to his hotel room to hook up, and also offering to show up to my firm and bring me food, and come to my apartment to give me a foot massage while I finished work. He would not stop. I told him Wednesday. We would meet on Wednesday.

On Tuesday, this happened

Who would go to the spot you are supposed to meet at the day prior to the date? I mean really, who does that?  And also, enough with the massages. By Tuesday, I was convinced that this guy was just going to make the most awkward date. I told myself that all I had to do was get in and get out and I'd make it out alive.

Wednesday was an awkward day. I couldn't get a full grasp of my feelings. It was like I was hopeful he wouldn't be a weirdo and maybe the date would go well, but also freaking scared that I would end up as a missing person on a milk carton. And as the day went on, I thought it would go well. I hoped it would go well. He was super jazzed about the date. Hey, maybe I was wrong. Maybe this was just going to be awesome!

And so, I got off of work and got in my Uber and made my way to El Borracho. I was talking up a storm in the back seat of the Uber. This was going to be a great date! I was rounding the corner when he asked if I was still at work. I told him that I just got in my Uber and that I would be 10 minutes away. Really, I just wanted to get there first and make sure I was not walking into some sketch scene.

So, I was there, sat down. And then my mom called me. Like thanks, mom. I'm on a date. Please go away. But, I'm glad that she did, because then this happened.

There I sat. Alone. No response. I hung up on my mom and entered into a panic. I texted some friends to see if they could at least come and join me. I hadn't even been served because they were waiting for my date to join me. I could feel a warmth spreading over me and zeroing in on my face. My heart was beating faster. Hands were clammy. My mouth was Sahara-desert dry. Every sound around me felt as if it were coming from miles away and distorted. The waiter came up to me. I didn't look him in the eye. I told him no one was coming. I could tell by his response that he registered what had just happened. I even tried calling my mom back, but she didn't respond. I ordered a margarita. Then another. Then another. Then one final one. It was only 7:30 PM and I felt as if I had been drinking for at least half a day. I paid for my stuff and bolted. In my rush to leave everyone around me, I dropped my debit card on the street, I would only find this out the next day when I received a call from Bank of America telling me that a lady found it on the street and turned it in for me to pick up.

I was floored. I knew that is all just didn't make sense and yet I let myself believe for one second that this could actually mean something. That this might pan out to something more than just another quick Tinder date or a lackluster hookup or some mildly racist and not at all funny old perv. But it hadn't. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I wanted to give up dating, and after that day, I did for the rest of the year. 

He never responded to my last texts. He never called again. He never even logged on to the site where we first met and now when I look for it, his profile is simply gone. I never knew what happened. Did he come in and see me and think I was horrendous? Was he even in the state at all? Who would be so sad and pathetic as to carry on this rouse for months? To drop locations in and around Seattle to make it seem like they were there? But most importantly, why me? So, for the longest time, I didn't get closure. But, a few weeks passed and I decided to look up his number online again to see if anything popped up. Lo and behold, something did:

This comment was made about Chris' number a week before he and I were supposed to meet. Did I dodge a bullet? Possibly. Will we ever know? Never.

Of course, I have gone out on dates and hooked up after this ordeal, and I will write all about that in my next post. But I can tell ya, this was just a whole rollercoaster and I hope you all enjoyed the ride.

The Journey Continues!

Javi