Javi's Journey Through Dreadful Dating

The above Grindr photo is not one from my personal collection. No, I don't collect pictures of guys, that would be weird...put my phone down Julio. While not of my collection, this is a profile I have seen many times. Too many times. It's not just on Grindr. It's on other dating apps and other social media. Being a minority in the gay world, and for purposes of this blog, let's limit this world to the United States (although I'm sure people from other countries can probably share the same experience, but I won't speak for them) is a world in which you are both fetishized as an exotic creature or demoted to second-class sub-species. Often guys on these apps take the best and worst qualities of "your" culture (I never really know who's culture they're taking from but must be someone's, right) and instantly make judgments on who you are. Sure, some of you might be saying "Javi, that's the name of the game. Dude, if you can'...

Last winter I branched out from the normal guys I go for. Now, I won't say I have a particular type, BUT, I probably do. I usually go for guys close to my age, tall, who are driven. No, you don't need a four-year degree and letters after your name, but you do need to have a plan and direction. Seriously, Sallie Mae doesn't have time for me dicking around. This time, I decided I would go for some older guys. I have experience with some guys way beyond my years, but I don't make it a common thing. Not to say they don't come after me, but unless you're old, hot, and have money, I probably won't settle down. So I set up a date with a guy in his early 40s and mentally prepared myself for the coffee we were going to get. Now, I need to preface this date with some backstory that resulted in my naivety. I spent the first 21 years of my life in California and everyone in the suburbs spoke the same. i didn't think I spoke with an accent at any point in...

I'm single. Well, duh you say. Or you might not since you don't know me. But trust me, I am. You can cut my leg and count the rings to see how long I've been single. To avoid the cutting, I'll tell you that it's been like 5 or 6 years since I was in a relationship. I've been focused on law school and passing the bar. I've had priorities, okay mom. And at 26, the pressure is on to get in a relationship and get serious. Now that I've been out in practice and no longer in school, I've figured this is the best time to be dating and exploring the world. And by world, I mean the 25 mile radius on my Tinder profile. I want a boyfriend. I want to get married some day. Have some kids. It's still in the cards, trust me. However, I'm not desperate to get hitched. Although, if TLC were interested in a new television show, I'd be down. That girl Sallie Mae comes a-knocking every month and I have to get her to go away. It would be a great show. ...