Javi's Journey Through Dreadful Dating

Online dating is a huge gamble. You never know what's going to happen or who you're going to run into. I've run into professors, friends, and even people's husbands. Yeah, I know. Don't worry, there will be time for those stories as well. However, while you might meet many people there's also the biggest possibility. You're not going to meet anyone. Getting ghosted is a terrible experience. What's worse about getting ghosted is when you've offered all the goodies and get ghosted. You see, when that happens every single thought runs through your mind. Was I ugly? Boring? Were they just fishing for pics? Am I going to die alone? Seriously, there have only been a few times in my life when I've completely questioned my abilities. Once was when I didn't get into UC Berkeley, my dream school. Another was when I caved and hooked up with a friend and neither one of us came. And about two years ago, it was with Taylor. I matched with ...

A large part of online dating is being prepared for the unexpected. Sometimes you'll find a perfect match and the subsequent conversation will be amazing, then there are times when the conversation is just awkward, and then there's the pop-up dick pic. Be careful with the last one, those are wild, unavoidable, and always from the one's you NEVER want it from.* I think a good chunk of the fun of online dating is the very fact of the above reality. You can't predict what the other person's first move is going to be. Now, I will state up from, for the most part, my greetings are pretty tame. I might call someone a stud to be saucy, but that's about it. Some might find that boring, but you know what Janet and Julio, I like being boring at the beginning. I think it leaves for a wider selection of conversation topics. Besides, I usually shoot off the first greeting, so I never really know what mood I'm in. Am I chill? Anxious? Ready to pounce? In the mood?...

I'm single. Well, duh you say. Or you might not since you don't know me. But trust me, I am. You can cut my leg and count the rings to see how long I've been single. To avoid the cutting, I'll tell you that it's been like 5 or 6 years since I was in a relationship. I've been focused on law school and passing the bar. I've had priorities, okay mom. And at 26, the pressure is on to get in a relationship and get serious. Now that I've been out in practice and no longer in school, I've figured this is the best time to be dating and exploring the world. And by world, I mean the 25 mile radius on my Tinder profile. I want a boyfriend. I want to get married some day. Have some kids. It's still in the cards, trust me. However, I'm not desperate to get hitched. Although, if TLC were interested in a new television show, I'd be down. That girl Sallie Mae comes a-knocking every month and I have to get her to go away. It would be a great show. ...