Javi's Journey Through Dreadful Dating

One of my favorite shows is Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Seriously, if you haven't watched it, go watch it after reading this. I'd normally say go watch it all before finishing this, but it's too good for me to compete against. Can't have you guys being disappointed with my stuff after. Seriously, it's that good. What I got from Crazy Ex was one of my favorite songs that I really can connect with. No, not that one . This one: And it's absolutely true. Life does not make narrative sense. Everything just seems so random and barely put together. And in online dating it makes even less sense. Because here we were the weekend Chris was supposed to be here and no messages from him. Like the entire Friday he was supposed to fly out, I was on pins and needles. When was he gonna message me? Was he gonna call? Was I supposed to pick him up from the airport? Would he randomly show up at my apartment even though he didn't know where I lived but Seattle doesn't have...

Last winter I branched out from the normal guys I go for. Now, I won't say I have a particular type, BUT, I probably do. I usually go for guys close to my age, tall, who are driven. No, you don't need a four-year degree and letters after your name, but you do need to have a plan and direction. Seriously, Sallie Mae doesn't have time for me dicking around. This time, I decided I would go for some older guys. I have experience with some guys way beyond my years, but I don't make it a common thing. Not to say they don't come after me, but unless you're old, hot, and have money, I probably won't settle down. So I set up a date with a guy in his early 40s and mentally prepared myself for the coffee we were going to get. Now, I need to preface this date with some backstory that resulted in my naivety. I spent the first 21 years of my life in California and everyone in the suburbs spoke the same. i didn't think I spoke with an accent at any point in...