Throwback Thirsty Thursday #2: Do You Understand the Words that Are Coming Out of My Mouth
Last winter I branched out from the normal guys I go for. Now, I won't say I have a particular type, BUT, I probably do. I usually go for guys close to my age, tall, who are driven. No, you don't need a four-year degree and letters after your name, but you do need to have a plan and direction. Seriously, Sallie Mae doesn't have time for me dicking around.
This time, I decided I would go for some older guys. I have experience with some guys way beyond my years, but I don't make it a common thing. Not to say they don't come after me, but unless you're old, hot, and have money, I probably won't settle down.
So I set up a date with a guy in his early 40s and mentally prepared myself for the coffee we were going to get. Now, I need to preface this date with some backstory that resulted in my naivety.
I spent the first 21 years of my life in California and everyone in the suburbs spoke the same. i didn't think I spoke with an accent at any point in my life. Like, I don't speak like a surfer, no Southern drawl, I don't ask people to put my groceries in a "beg". I speak regular, neutral English. I had a good mastery of English despite being involuntarily placed in ESL (English as a Second Language) classes for the first four years of my education,* Fast forward to a conversation with my friends and color me surprised, I learn that I do speak with an accent. I speak with a California accent. What that necessarily means, I don't know, but I was rocking that info with pride.
Back to the story. So, I go to Starbucks and grab my basic drink. Basic in the sense that it's a grande ice green tea with no sweetener, not basic as in basic white girl. I'm sitting there, looking all cute and like a snack, when my date texts me that he's walking in. I'm all nervous, but it's cool. I wave him over. He's dressed in dad jeans and a sport coat. Not bad. Not great. I've had worse. We'll go with it. I get up and we do the awkward hey, I'm going in for the hug since we've talked a few times and this is a date thing. He tells me he's going to grab some coffee and gets in line. I sit back down and sip my tea.
I'm nervous, I won't lie. I haven't been with older guys other than in the bedroom, so I didn't know what to expect or more importantly how to act. What if I was too young? Or too immature? Should I have subscribed to the New York Times before the date? I didn't have to worry long because he quickly came back and we started talking about basketball and work.
When I'm nervous I talk fast, like really fast. I also speak in an excited tone. He was laughing and going along with what I was saying. I was getting into my groove. The date was going well! Sure only ten minutes had passed but maybe I could do older guys. Maybe this could be a thing!
Then, the fire nation attacked. I really wish they did. I had one of those moments when the spotlight of the universe just spins around and lands on you and for some reason every other living being on the planet just disappears. Like, folks it was bad. Grab your popcorn, because this is how the conversation went:
Date: can I say something?
Me: sure. I don't see why not?
Date: you don't have an accent.
Me: well, I didn't think so either, but a friend a few weeks ago said I had a California accent. So I guess I do. (small chuckle)
Date: No, I mean when you speak English. You speak it so well. (feint smile)
*long pause*
Me: well, I've been speaking English since I could talk (begins to chug tea).
Folks, I kid you not, I did not know what to say. What was I supposed to say? I'm sorry? Thanks? Should we get married? He acted like this was the world's best compliment. He was grinning and I could have sworn I heard a "hehe" slip past his chapped lips.
I finished my drink and put my best Oscar-worthy acting skills to the test. I earned my coins. I freaked out about the time and told him I had to get going, I realized that I had a deadline to submit something to court. Yes, I was still a law clerk. No, I didn't have to file anything, I was the court. But, benefit of people not understanding exactly what I did at the time.
He begged me to stay, but I told him that it was important. Didn't want to mess up early in my career. He understood. He tried to get up and give me a hug goodbye, but I was already walking out the door.
I've had many a comment as a brown person in the dating world. This was a first. Fortunately, it's not that common of an occurrence, but this does remind me of the time someone asked me to engage in phone sex in some broken English, but that's a story for another time...
The Journey Continues!
Javi
*To this day I am pissed that I was placed in these classes. I didn't ask for them. I didn't need them. I get my name is Javier Ortiz, but come on man. I'm really just bitter because they took me out of my normal class time and to this day I can't properly write cursive capital D's, G's, and Q's.
This time, I decided I would go for some older guys. I have experience with some guys way beyond my years, but I don't make it a common thing. Not to say they don't come after me, but unless you're old, hot, and have money, I probably won't settle down.
So I set up a date with a guy in his early 40s and mentally prepared myself for the coffee we were going to get. Now, I need to preface this date with some backstory that resulted in my naivety.
I spent the first 21 years of my life in California and everyone in the suburbs spoke the same. i didn't think I spoke with an accent at any point in my life. Like, I don't speak like a surfer, no Southern drawl, I don't ask people to put my groceries in a "beg". I speak regular, neutral English. I had a good mastery of English despite being involuntarily placed in ESL (English as a Second Language) classes for the first four years of my education,* Fast forward to a conversation with my friends and color me surprised, I learn that I do speak with an accent. I speak with a California accent. What that necessarily means, I don't know, but I was rocking that info with pride.
Back to the story. So, I go to Starbucks and grab my basic drink. Basic in the sense that it's a grande ice green tea with no sweetener, not basic as in basic white girl. I'm sitting there, looking all cute and like a snack, when my date texts me that he's walking in. I'm all nervous, but it's cool. I wave him over. He's dressed in dad jeans and a sport coat. Not bad. Not great. I've had worse. We'll go with it. I get up and we do the awkward hey, I'm going in for the hug since we've talked a few times and this is a date thing. He tells me he's going to grab some coffee and gets in line. I sit back down and sip my tea.
I'm nervous, I won't lie. I haven't been with older guys other than in the bedroom, so I didn't know what to expect or more importantly how to act. What if I was too young? Or too immature? Should I have subscribed to the New York Times before the date? I didn't have to worry long because he quickly came back and we started talking about basketball and work.
When I'm nervous I talk fast, like really fast. I also speak in an excited tone. He was laughing and going along with what I was saying. I was getting into my groove. The date was going well! Sure only ten minutes had passed but maybe I could do older guys. Maybe this could be a thing!
Then, the fire nation attacked. I really wish they did. I had one of those moments when the spotlight of the universe just spins around and lands on you and for some reason every other living being on the planet just disappears. Like, folks it was bad. Grab your popcorn, because this is how the conversation went:
Date: can I say something?
Me: sure. I don't see why not?
Date: you don't have an accent.
Me: well, I didn't think so either, but a friend a few weeks ago said I had a California accent. So I guess I do. (small chuckle)
Date: No, I mean when you speak English. You speak it so well. (feint smile)
*long pause*
Me: well, I've been speaking English since I could talk (begins to chug tea).
Folks, I kid you not, I did not know what to say. What was I supposed to say? I'm sorry? Thanks? Should we get married? He acted like this was the world's best compliment. He was grinning and I could have sworn I heard a "hehe" slip past his chapped lips.
I finished my drink and put my best Oscar-worthy acting skills to the test. I earned my coins. I freaked out about the time and told him I had to get going, I realized that I had a deadline to submit something to court. Yes, I was still a law clerk. No, I didn't have to file anything, I was the court. But, benefit of people not understanding exactly what I did at the time.
He begged me to stay, but I told him that it was important. Didn't want to mess up early in my career. He understood. He tried to get up and give me a hug goodbye, but I was already walking out the door.
I've had many a comment as a brown person in the dating world. This was a first. Fortunately, it's not that common of an occurrence, but this does remind me of the time someone asked me to engage in phone sex in some broken English, but that's a story for another time...
The Journey Continues!
Javi
*To this day I am pissed that I was placed in these classes. I didn't ask for them. I didn't need them. I get my name is Javier Ortiz, but come on man. I'm really just bitter because they took me out of my normal class time and to this day I can't properly write cursive capital D's, G's, and Q's.
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