Javi's Journey Through Dreadful Dating

So, this post is going to be a little different. Don't worry, I have plenty of dating stories still left to share with you guys. I also have some other issue posts to write including topics like bi-erasure. Trust me, this journey is very much just getting started and there are plenty of stops along the way. See, in this post I decided to get a little bit more personal with you guys with how I've been feeling lately. I figure if I'm going to blog and share my journey that I should share as much of my journey that I feel will resonate with my readers. I think story telling is the best way to connect with humans. Like my last post stated, this journey of being human is about getting to feel every emotion and I think we can best do it by storytelling. And, by sharing I hope that people out there go from feeling alone to feeling connected--even if it means embarrassing myself in the process. Trust me, after ripping your pants or shorts in front of people on a few occasions,...

Online dating is a huge gamble. You never know what's going to happen or who you're going to run into. I've run into professors, friends, and even people's husbands. Yeah, I know. Don't worry, there will be time for those stories as well. However, while you might meet many people there's also the biggest possibility. You're not going to meet anyone. Getting ghosted is a terrible experience. What's worse about getting ghosted is when you've offered all the goodies and get ghosted. You see, when that happens every single thought runs through your mind. Was I ugly? Boring? Were they just fishing for pics? Am I going to die alone? Seriously, there have only been a few times in my life when I've completely questioned my abilities. Once was when I didn't get into UC Berkeley, my dream school. Another was when I caved and hooked up with a friend and neither one of us came. And about two years ago, it was with Taylor. I matched with ...

So, welcome to another multi-part story. These are fun, right? I rip off all the bandages and we all do some group therapy together. I've actually debated about posting this one or not. Why, you ask? Because no one likes looking like a complete fool. It's fun putting yourself out there, but like, really putting yourself out there when you have egg on your face? So, it took me a while from going from ranting FB post, to fully coherent explanation. But, we're here folks. I'm excited, scared, and my tummy rumbling (so, that last one might be because of prune juice, but whatever). I will say, other than hesitating because I had egg on my face, I hesitated sharing this story for a few other reasons. First, because I never have time to write. Second, every good story has some suspense to build it up. Finally, because even looking back on it I'm still just shooketh that it happened. So, strap yourselves in, grab some churros, and let's go on this journey of...

In case you've been living under a rock for the past year, or like me have an ever growing list of movies and shows to get through (hey, if you do have some recommendations send them my way, I'll get to them), you might not know that 2018 saw Netflix roll out a crap-ton of teen rom-coms. And honestly, who doesn't love a good teen rom-com? All the emotions are ramped up to 11. Everything is life or death. And, I get to relive the glorious trauma and flashbacks of my Senior Prom over and over again. Trust me, seeing flat-assed suburban kids trying to shake it to some Pussycat Dolls is pretty scarring. One of my favorite 2018 teen movies was: To All the Boys I've Loved Before. You should definitely check it out as well as the book, of the same name. Seriously, stop reading this post now and go read and watch it and then come back. Okay, good. We're on the same page now. Seriously, it's a cute story. The movie, which I may or may not have already seen like 6...

I've always been an ambitious kid. Never one to quit too early or take the easy road. Hell, the road I usually end up taking isn't even on the map and you best believe I'm too prideful to ask for help. So, as part of my ambition is my need to write creatively. It's definitely not just a desire. It's like in my head there are thousands of words, stories, and characters that need to breathe on a page. Trust me, the normal voices in my head aren't that needy. In order to not go crazy and sustain this need, I write when I can. I will be the first to say that I am not the best and even when I do write, I am not consistent. Throughout high school and college I created an account on Fiction Press as an outlet for the characters that simply could not wait. I will say I've done some work over there. If you're interested, drop me a line and I will share the wonders of my work. However, Fiction Press wasn't enough. I also had an overflowing a...

Last winter I branched out from the normal guys I go for. Now, I won't say I have a particular type, BUT, I probably do. I usually go for guys close to my age, tall, who are driven. No, you don't need a four-year degree and letters after your name, but you do need to have a plan and direction. Seriously, Sallie Mae doesn't have time for me dicking around. This time, I decided I would go for some older guys. I have experience with some guys way beyond my years, but I don't make it a common thing. Not to say they don't come after me, but unless you're old, hot, and have money, I probably won't settle down. So I set up a date with a guy in his early 40s and mentally prepared myself for the coffee we were going to get. Now, I need to preface this date with some backstory that resulted in my naivety. I spent the first 21 years of my life in California and everyone in the suburbs spoke the same. i didn't think I spoke with an accent at any point in...

Dating is a duel. Dating is a sport. Dating is a journey. It can be dangerous out there. Fear not! I have ventured out there a bit and learned quite a lot. Not enough to profit, but enough to know that some people just want to spend their whole life going on dates and seeing how many points, I mean people, they can rack up. I've also learned that others see dating as the unfortunate middle step before marriage and ever lasting companionship and either dread it or try to cut it short: Now before you go out into the dating world, or if you're already in it and need some reevaluating, below are the dating Commandments. If you had time to remember Dua Lipa's New Rules, you'll have time to get these to memory. Commandment #1: Know Who You Are Above all else, you need to know who you are. Before you start looking for Mr. or Ms. Right or Right-Now, you need to know who you are as a person. But, Javi, why does that matter? I just want to find someone to lov...

After the bus incident, I got more comfortable with interactions with guys. Of course, I didn't tell anyone. But through my free use of the internet I did find my outlets. And no, I'm not talking about porn, let's keep this PG, please. I was now a HS Senior and things had changed. I was no longer the wall flower. I was more outspoken and braver. I was part of my school's step team. I had a small group of friends that I could trust and share secrets. Most importantly, I was beginning to build the confidence I have now. Sure, I wasn't as fierce and unapologetic then as I am now, but you have to start somewhere. This confidence showed a lot in how I interacted with guys. I was flirting and having fun. Of course, given that this was all around 2008, it was all done online. Thank you, the GYC (there are a few stories on that that I might share later on, including the first guy I ever had fall in love with me). I was used to the attention. In fact, sometimes I c...