Javi's Journey Through Dreadful Dating

Last winter I branched out from the normal guys I go for. Now, I won't say I have a particular type, BUT, I probably do. I usually go for guys close to my age, tall, who are driven. No, you don't need a four-year degree and letters after your name, but you do need to have a plan and direction. Seriously, Sallie Mae doesn't have time for me dicking around. This time, I decided I would go for some older guys. I have experience with some guys way beyond my years, but I don't make it a common thing. Not to say they don't come after me, but unless you're old, hot, and have money, I probably won't settle down. So I set up a date with a guy in his early 40s and mentally prepared myself for the coffee we were going to get. Now, I need to preface this date with some backstory that resulted in my naivety. I spent the first 21 years of my life in California and everyone in the suburbs spoke the same. i didn't think I spoke with an accent at any point in

Dating is a duel. Dating is a sport. Dating is a journey. It can be dangerous out there. Fear not! I have ventured out there a bit and learned quite a lot. Not enough to profit, but enough to know that some people just want to spend their whole life going on dates and seeing how many points, I mean people, they can rack up. I've also learned that others see dating as the unfortunate middle step before marriage and ever lasting companionship and either dread it or try to cut it short: Now before you go out into the dating world, or if you're already in it and need some reevaluating, below are the dating Commandments. If you had time to remember Dua Lipa's New Rules, you'll have time to get these to memory. Commandment #1: Know Who You Are Above all else, you need to know who you are. Before you start looking for Mr. or Ms. Right or Right-Now, you need to know who you are as a person. But, Javi, why does that matter? I just want to find someone to lov

After the bus incident, I got more comfortable with interactions with guys. Of course, I didn't tell anyone. But through my free use of the internet I did find my outlets. And no, I'm not talking about porn, let's keep this PG, please. I was now a HS Senior and things had changed. I was no longer the wall flower. I was more outspoken and braver. I was part of my school's step team. I had a small group of friends that I could trust and share secrets. Most importantly, I was beginning to build the confidence I have now. Sure, I wasn't as fierce and unapologetic then as I am now, but you have to start somewhere. This confidence showed a lot in how I interacted with guys. I was flirting and having fun. Of course, given that this was all around 2008, it was all done online. Thank you, the GYC (there are a few stories on that that I might share later on, including the first guy I ever had fall in love with me). I was used to the attention. In fact, sometimes I c

This is the story of my first time. Well, my first time getting attention from a guy. We don't have the time to be breaking down my first time with a guy. Or, maybe we do. My post would probably last longer than my first time. I was 14 the first time a guy noticed me in a sexual way. I wasn't the popular kid growing up. However, when living in Conservative White Suburbia, USA, it's hard to be the popular kid when you're brown, fat, and poor. To top it off, I was nerdy. So, growing up I didn't have a lot of friends and I had some bullies. But didn't everyone? Anyway, I didn't know I was gay for a while. Probably not until I was 13 or 14 and I KNEW what the word gay meant. I did know for a while that I was different. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I felt it. By the time I started high school, I knew I liked guys.* However, since I lived in Conservative White Suburbia, USA, I wasn't about to come out to people at the tender age of 14. For

This is a new series. I know what you're going to say, Javi, this is your third blog post, it's all new. Yeah, yeah, calm down, Julio. I've posted much of my adventure on Facebook and it would not be fair to take credit for new horrendous ventures. Like dating is bad, but it's not THAT bad. Except for that one time I saw a girl throw up and then try to kiss her male companion. That was bad. No, my journey has been unique. Memorable. I started my journey January 2017. Before that I was a young, wholesome, impressionable male ingenue. Okay, before that I just messed around. I was the Leap Frog of hooking up. Or the Hungry Hungry Hippo. Le't s take a poll on this later. Anyway, after law school finished in 2016 and I found out I passed the bar (and my hair started falling out like crazy, #neveragain), I decided that life was going to be about me. I was 25. Young. Only kind of ugly. Kind of poor. Hair still falling out. I was in the prime of my life! Christmas 20

I'm single. Well, duh you say. Or you might not since you don't know me. But trust me, I am. You can cut my leg and count the rings to see how long I've been single. To avoid the cutting, I'll tell you that it's been like 5 or 6 years since I was in a relationship. I've been focused on law school and passing the bar. I've had priorities, okay mom. And at 26, the pressure is on to get in a relationship and get serious. Now that I've been out in practice and no longer in school, I've figured this is the best time to be dating and exploring the world. And by world, I mean the 25 mile radius on my Tinder profile. I want a boyfriend. I want to get married some day. Have some kids. It's still in the cards, trust me. However, I'm not desperate to get hitched. Although, if TLC were interested in a new television show, I'd be down. That girl Sallie Mae comes a-knocking every month and I have to get her to go away. It would be a great show.

Name's Javi. Not Jaw-vee. Or Jay-vee. or Jah-v-eye. Javi. Ha. Vee. It's best to get that out of the way before we proceed on this adventure. Why? Well, because the journey from here on out is pretty hectic and we need some ground rules we can hold on to when it gets tough. Now, dating is a game that everyone plays. Or at least those of us fortunate to still be single in our 20s. And I'm being honest, I am fortunate. Not in the sense that I believe coupled people are doomed to a life of despair and that all hope is lost for them, but more of the sense that I get to experience the crazy world of dating! If I were taken I wouldn't get to experience the weird, creepy, stalkery, confusing parts of dating. So, we have the name down. Seriously, it's just Javi, we'll do some practice runs with it. The next thing to work out is this blog. Now, this blog isn't going to be all sunshine and flowers. That's what my Instagram account is for. Okay, it's a