Throwback Thirsty Thursday #3: Girl of Steel Rod
I think a good chunk of the fun of online dating is the very fact of the above reality. You can't predict what the other person's first move is going to be. Now, I will state up from, for the most part, my greetings are pretty tame. I might call someone a stud to be saucy, but that's about it. Some might find that boring, but you know what Janet and Julio, I like being boring at the beginning. I think it leaves for a wider selection of conversation topics. Besides, I usually shoot off the first greeting, so I never really know what mood I'm in. Am I chill? Anxious? Ready to pounce? In the mood? Nausea? Heartburn? Indigestion? Upset stomach? Diarrhea?
Now, on this particular day, I had matched with Kory earlier in the day during lunch time. Despite always sending the first message, I usually wait after I've matched with someone to see if they'll make the first move. Again, you never know, people can surprise you. Kory's profile was your typical profile. 3 pictures. None of them really showed his face fully, two of them were with all of his friends so you couldn't tell exactly which one he was, and his profile was barely filled out with information. So, why did I swipe right? You know Janet and Julio, I don't know. But, no one was there to tell me #loveyourself. Really it's y'alls fault.
So, now that it was dinner time and I wanted to eat, watch TV, and none of my friends were answering my texts, I decided it was probably time to message Kory since he hadn't hit me up. Now, remember folks, it was dinner time. It was either Tuesday or Wednesday. I had my feet propped up on my dining table and I was catching up on that week's episode of Supergirl. Before I continue, if you haven't watched Supergirl, please do. S1 and the current season are phenomenal.
Back to Kory, so as I usually do I sent him a simple "how's it going?" Now, I will preface the next part with the fact that as soon as I sent my message he messaged back.
The rest of this conversation wasn't cropped, well to protect my readers from Kory's next line which included the fact that: 1) he believed Supergirl was lame; and 2) that I should be "jerking it too lol 👅👅😂😈". The conversation was flat. He ended every sentence with "ha" or "lol".
Now, before I proceed with the rest of the story, I have to make a point on this. Why do people online end every line with a ha or an lol? Are you high? Manic? Auditioning for the hyena role on Broadway's The Lion King?
It's just straight up weird. Like, nothing anyone says is ever THAT funny. So, y'all need to chill.
Back to Kory. The conversation quickly de-volved once he found out I was just not aroused. At all. However, his constant inquiries into my horniess were dry as hell. So, I didn't stay matched with Kory for that much longer. I responded with Supergirl was awesome and he said that jerking was better "lol." And that was that. I unmatched.
But, that's dating, right? You get the weird roller-coaster ride. Somehow it's all worth it. Not only does it make for an entertaining story, but it makes me feel better about my own conversation skills. I'm definitely not the weird one out there!
After Kory was all said and done, I finished watching that week's episode and felt my phone vibrate. I looked down and oh, I had a message from someone on a dating app.
"Hey, loved your profile. How r u?"
Me: "I'm good, just finishing up some dinner. How about you?"
"Horny and strokin. hehe"
Oh boy....
The Journey Continues!
Javi
* Okay, except for the weird occasional one. Then you hit them back. Then you hook up. Then you feel dirty and ashamed about what you've done. Promise yourself you won't do it again; but the second you leave their place you're back on the app.
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